


The one that got away

by CJ_Tries



Series: 9-1-1 stories [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Buck/Abby (Mentioned), what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_Tries/pseuds/CJ_Tries
Summary: After he helps a retired firefighter with a lot of regrets, Buck gets to thinking about the things in his own life he doesn't want to regret.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: 9-1-1 stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713025
Comments: 12
Kudos: 246





	The one that got away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> So, it's been quite a while since I've written anything. Like, we're talking about a decade. Still, quarantine had me thinking about giving it another shot, and the past couple of days have had me needing to take my mind off things. So, this was born.
> 
> I wrote this based on the promo/summary for s3e16. I'm not sure what to call it tbh. A premature coda? Basically, it would take place after Buck helps the retired firefighter (whom I've lovingly named Hank) reunite with "the one that got away."
> 
> Not beta read, and I am hella rusty, but it felt good to stretch my writing muscles. I've never written one shots before (are they still even called that? I'm old), but I think I'll make it part of a series in case I want to make a few more.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, friends!

Buck couldn’t stop thinking about him on his drive home from the firehouse.

The retired firefighter, Hank. How many years he’d spent regretting his past, regretting what he hadn’t done, who he’d lost. Sure, they’d gotten their happy ending eventually, thanks in some small part to Buck. Still, something about it haunted him.

He put his keys in the bowl by his door and dropped his bag somewhere near his discarded shoes. He pulled a beer out of his fridge and fiddled with his phone at the kitchen counter, pulling up his messages from earlier.

_See you tomorrow. Can’t wait!_

Abby. She’d first messaged him a few days ago, letting him know she was coming back into the city. For now, just to get her apartment squared away, but she was still deciding what came next.

Buck had been surprised, of course, but delighted. Even though he’d always been happy that Abby was out finding what she needed after losing her mother, something about it had weighed on him. Things had ended well enough between them, but it had still never felt like a true _ending_ to Buck. It felt unfinished, cut off. He’d often found himself wondering if he would regret it, later. Not fighting for her, for what they’d had.

After today, after Hank, he knew the answer.

He rolled the bottle between his hands, staring at the darkened phone screen.

Since the end of his shift, he’d been filled with a growing sense of urgency. It seemed silly, but he kept seeing Hank’s face, hearing his words, and couldn't shake the feeling that this just couldn’t wait. One more day shouldn’t make much difference, after almost two years. But Buck knew better than anyone that you couldn’t take your time for granted.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he’d scooped his keys back out of the bowl and was back out the door, closing it behind him.

He still nearly turned around twice on the drive over. Thankfully, traffic was light this late at night, so he wasn’t given too much time to think about how ridiculous he was being.

He was at the front door, about to knock, before he considered what time it was and stepped back, pulling his phone out instead.

_Hey_

He sent it immediately, then shook his head at the inadequate message. He stepped back further and leaned against his car, considering getting back in and calling the whole thing off. His phone lit back up in his hand.

_What’s up?_

He smiled in spite of himself.

_Can I talk to you about something?_ he sent back.

He only had to wait another moment.

_Sure, lay it on me_

Buck looked from his phone to the door a few times, shook his head again.

_No, I mean, like in person. Can you come outside?_

He stared down at it after hitting send, waiting for the bubbles to appear, but the screen darkened and didn’t light up again. Buck peered down the quiet street, wondering what he was doing.

The front door swinging open made him turn back, almost guiltily.

“Sorry, I know it’s late. I probably should have just left it until tomorrow.” Buck couldn’t bring his gaze above the front steps.

“What’s going on?” Eddie closed the door and came forward slowly, trying to catch Buck’s eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Chris get to bed alright?” Buck asked instead of answering, watching where the old paint of the porch railing was flaked off.

“Out like a light. Buck, what’s going on?” he asked again. “Is this about your date with Abby tomorrow? I know you’re anxious but—”

“Not a date. We were just gonna…” he cleared his throat. “We were gonna talk, catch up. Maybe…”

“Right. Look Buck, I know I wasn’t around when you two were together before,” Eddie was moving forward again as he spoke, almost to the front of the Jeep now. “But if you think there’s still something there,” here Eddie stopped, swallowed oddly. “You don’t want to regret not trying, right?”

Buck’s strangled laugh startled them both, and he was finally able to meet Eddie’s eyes.

“No, that’s…” He laughed again. “That’s why I’m here. Regrets. After today…I don’t think I could handle not trying.”

“Right,” Eddie said carefully, watching him. “I’m not sure I’m following, Buck.”

Buck squeezed his phone between his palms, frustrated at his inability to find the words. Abruptly, he turned, pacing away from the car a few steps. Why hadn’t he thought this through on the drive over? Man, he really was a jump first, ask questions later kind of guy.

“Hank, the firefighter from earlier, you remember?”

“Of course. It’s great what you did, Buck. You really helped him.”

“He just…he kept saying how he wished he could go back. Turn back the clock, you know?” Buck made himself turn back to face Eddie. “I can’t stop thinking about it. When Abby got in touch, I was relieved. I’ve spent months just wondering if I could have changed how things turned out. If I _should_ have.”

Eddie nodded, encouraging him to go on.

“She was the first real relationship I ever had. I was coming out of a rough place, and honestly, I wasn’t the greatest person when we met. I liked who I was with her, though.

“Before her, I-I think I believed I wasn’t cut out for that. That I’d never really be someone’s _family_ , you know?”

“Buck—”

“Then after she was gone, I thought, what if that was it? Like, what if she was the exception. Some kind, awesome, perfect-for-me, once-in-a-lifetime? The only one who could _fix_ me?”

“No, Buck,” Eddie was suddenly much closer, just out of reach. He forced Buck to meet his eyes, serious. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was. And family?” he scoffed a little. “You’re family to so many people. Your sister, Bobby and Athena, Hen and Chim. The 118 wouldn’t be what it is without you. And I…”

Now Eddie looked away. Buck waited.

“Buck, Christopher and I—you’re our family too. I know we’re not—it’s not this big selling point, but when I think of my family? You’re in it.” Eddie seemed to steel himself, and looked back up at him. “You have family here, and at the station, and—and, if you want to make things work with Abby, that’s great. But don’t think for a second that you need someone to fix you, to—to—”

Buck took a step forward, cutting him off.

“Yeah, that’s…” Buck tried to speak around the lump in his throat. Around the hope. “ _That’s_ why I’m here. Before today, I was unsure. I thought I might regret some things. But now…Now I _know_ what I’ll regret.”

Buck watched as his own hand reached out carefully, taking Eddie’s.

“I _do_ have a family. One that I’m proud of. One that I _love_.” He didn’t dare look away from his fingers where they were tentatively holding onto his best friend’s. “It doesn’t have to change anything, but I needed you to know. I—I’d _regret_ not telling you.”

When he spoke, Eddie’s voice was weak in a way Buck could never remember hearing before.

“Telling me?”

Buck took a breath.

“That I love you.”

In the ensuing silence, he didn’t allow himself to want to take it back, to try to qualify or soften it. It was what it was. He finally made himself look up.

Eddie’s face was unreadable as he watched Buck, but his hand tightened on Buck’s.

“I’m glad,” Eddie finally said, quietly.

“Glad?” Buck knew it wasn’t exactly the answer he’d dared to hope for, but at least Eddie didn’t seem uncomfortable with him. “Good, that’s—good.”

“Yeah.” Eddie’s smile made something tighten in Buck’s chest. _Maybe…_

Eddie stepped closer, closing the last foot between them.

“I’m glad,” he went on, smiling a little, “that you finally caught up.”

When Eddie ducked in the last few inches to kiss him, it was soft. Just the gentle press of his lips on Buck’s.

Eddie pulled back, but not far. Buck didn’t realize his eyes were closed until Eddie spoke.

“How do you feel about waffles?”

“Uhh,” Buck struggled to catch up, eyes still closed. “Waffles? I—”

“For breakfast.” Eddie was smiling patiently at him when he finally looked. “You’re coming in, right? Chris is gonna insist on a big family breakfast when he realizes you’re here in the morning, and between you and me, waffles are about the only thing I can halfway make.”

Buck laughed, and allowed himself to be tugged towards the front door.

“What do you say?”

“Family breakfast?” Buck didn’t have to think about it. “Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I still have no idea how to end stories. Some things never change, I guess.
> 
> Had a good time writing, and hope you had a good time reading! This fandom has been amazing, and all you lovely folks on the discord have inspired me to come back to writing, so thank you.


End file.
